Pink Mohair

Father's Day

Embarassing as it is, this is Husband's Dream Car. It has been ever since I've known him. In fact, on our first date he told me that while he then drove an Opal Corsa, one day he would drive a BMW 7 series (which reeeeeeeeeeeally impressed me.)

Realizing that Father's Day is coming up and we are in NO way near the purchase of Husband's Dream Car (plus I keep hoping he'll decide a Hello Kitty VW Bug is more practical and affordable) I've decided to take Husband to test drive the car of his dreams on Father's Day. I stopped by a BMW dealer for some recon while wearing huge pink heart earrings and in no way looking like a potential customer. Nevertheless,they were very cordial and took me on a little tour of the lot. Jeez, I was kind of hoping they would be jerks and live up to the stereotype. (Husband got the nastiest look on his face when I showed him the above car. Didn't believe it was a Beemer and definitely not amused.)

Not really knowing what a 7 series looked like, this is how I saw myself riding around town. This could work! Unfourtunately, there were none of these on the lot.

Nor these

None of these, either.

Dealer: Showing me the Boeing sized car. "This one is the big version and runs - (GET THIS) - $107,000."

Me: Big failure to be cool and take it in stride..."Dollars? US DOLLARS?!" (In my mind...for a CAR?!) "Uh, okay...Do you have any used ones?"

Dealer: "Yes, we have a special deal on a '06 for $55,000." Shows me the exact same behemoth.

Me: "Ok......Do you have any Crappy used ones?"

Dealer: Laughs - No, we don't carry crappy ones.

Me: After sitting in the used one..."Do they come in stick?"

Dealer: "Oh no. Only steering mounted automatic."

Me: thinking that any car that is $107,000 damn well better GIVE BIRTH for me, never mind come in stick if I want it. Definitely trying to give myself reason to think "What a piece of shit." You can tell I'm slightly ambivalent about this car.

Me: Does it come in hybrid?

Dealer: Truly being a good sport. laughs. "No, no hybrid."

Me: Does it come in pink?

Dealer: Rifles through the booklet and shows me the BORING colors. Tells me to bring Husband in on Father's Day for a test drive.

So Hubs, this is a true sign of LOVE that I'm taking you to test drive BMWs for Father's Day. Even if you don't own one for thirty years. I promise to really, really try not to make any sarcastic comments on the test drive and not to perpetuate the stereotype by flipping people off as we pass them. XXOO

Valkyrie Potty

I love the blog Ikea Hacker and every time I go into Ikea I'm always making over their stuff in my mind. This is Junior's first toilet seat (the Lattsam from Ikea) and I think he makes a fetching little Valkyrie.

All he needs now is a horse (and an armored boob plate.)

 

Oilcloth Bags

Biasdesigns

Applejuicegifts

Orla Kiely via OH baby

Cath Kidston happy flowers. I love this one!

Faux Bamboo Chairs

 


















Oh, go on and admit it. You'd do it, you know you would. If eight faux bamboo Chippendalesque chairs for $200 on Craigslist were calling out to you as these ones in Naragansett, Rhode Island are, you'd make seventeen trips back and forth, put 3 in the bedroom, a couple in the bathroom, few in the kitchen etc. Chair above from Pieces.


















I love how the ad says they were recently reupholstered. Like, while blindfolded? Please, somebody take my pain away and buy them. I would sooooo love to get a paintbrush and new fabric on them! Alas, Husband would kill me if I came home with them. But you could give me one as a finder's fee if you like.

 











Photo via Designsponge.

The World is Full of Toys

Dear Dad, when you told mom not to get me any toys because I had enough, I staged a protest. Unfortunately, you weren't initially affected.



















Mom wasnt very happy with me, though. She dragged my pajama clad arse to CVS in a hurry and I didn't even get my usual treat. No milk for the car, nothing.













I think this affected you more since mom didn't race me to CVS. She thought it was cute that I put all your computer keys in the vase on the floor. Nice and neat like a boy Martha Stewart.













You can't really tell in the photo but all the computer keys are in the vase. Perhaps if you had let mom get me a few more big boy toys you wouldn't be staring into its depths saying, "I feel like my life is in that vase." and "I feel like you gave birth to a squirrel." C'mon dad - just some Leggos or a toy train?



















Seems like a logical place to me.

Vintage jewelry

Mykonos makes these sweet pieces from vintage findings, beads and charms. They make me smile.

Peacock Bracelets

Happiness is scoring these two bracelets for fifty cents each at the flea market today.

Double happiness is realizing that Urban Outfitters is selling them for twenty bucks EACH. 

So, I basically scored $80 worth of bracelets for $2. Not bad for a flea market which caused me to say to husband, "This flea market is so bad I'm about to cry." We left soon after. A bad flea market should be treated like a deadbeat boyfriend...get the gifts and RUN.

Matzoh Ball Chaos

My GOODNESS what one has to go through to get a bowl of matzoh ball soup in this place. For starters, this is one of my absolutely favorite foods but I've never made it. This weekend was gray and terribly depressing so I got started in the kitchen.

I actually made my own broth after roasting a chicken. Of course, I kept popping over to my landlady's side to get advice. "You WHAT?! Well, you're supposed to throw the uncooked chicken in the broth and cook it that way. But that's ok, you don't have the chicken feet either which gives it the sweetness," she said in the kindest way possible. "And you need parsnips." Crap, I really want to launch myself off the Chrysler Building haul a couple of kids to the store to get parsnips - anyone know that feeling?

The broth took almost 24 hours to cool so it could be skimmed. But mmmmmmm, was it worth the wait. Juniorette then helped me roll the matzoh balls. We made half with seltzer (for fluffier balls, ahem) and half without the seltzer.

Inevitably, in the middle of all this there was the echoing sound of Junior's Silence. I had left a painting in progress on the dining room table and who decided to knock everything over and plant his BUTT on the wet painting while eating CHICKLETS (no, not Husband, thank God)?

How did he get that "A" on his back? His name actually begins with "A."I couldn't blame Juniorette since she was with me. He had paint all over himself and a mouth full of gum, and my painting was ruined.

If this can be called a chopping block a picture is worth a thousand words. ARRRGGGH.

Juniorette and I were actually making oatmeal cookies and matzoh balls at the same time Junior caused all this chaos.

We finally got them into the pot and cooked. Junior and the mess was removed from the dining room table and we all sat down to a delicious dinner. I love cooking for my family; I just wish Junior was still content to play with his knife collection or one of my pin cushions. Why the dining room table all of a sudden? And why the constant nudity?! As my daughter (well taught) likes to say in regard to her little brother...MEN.

Myanmar's cyclone

To send disaster relief funds quickly and painlessly click here. Husband and I got lost on the dirt back roads of Chiang Mai, Thailand and ended up near the Myanmar border, above (Photo via Flickr.) It was quite scary but we finally made it back hours later after nightfall.

Aung San Suu Kyi, Myanmar's icon of democracy and winner of the 1991 Nobel Peace Prize has her house arrest status under review this month. She has been under house arrest for the last 11 years and is allowed only visits by her maid and doctor, and her phone lines are cut. I wonder what will happen to her now?

Weekend Recap

My Dearest Daughter, I assure you I tried to find medicine that didn't have the words "Jock Itch" on the box (how do you think I felt while buying it?!). You have ringworm on your chin and if the guy on the Lamisil box can do hurdles after using Lamisil, you will soon be back in the sandbox contracting more ringworm, no doubt.

To My Darling Son, I know you like to dump these clips out and put them in your mouth but you are sooooo BUSTED. See, while changing your very stinky diaper today I found one of these clips. And you were wearing a crotch-snap body suit all day so no WAY could you have merely shoved one of these into your trous. No...I'm fairly certain this took a circuitous route which luckily did not end with the metal detectors going off next time we're at the airport. I can just see it. "Sorry ma'am, we're going to have to put him through the x-ray machine - make sure you remove his shoes first and just put him in with your laptop." No wonder your daddy refers to you as Hoover.

To My Elder Sister (from Junior), if I have trouble with enclosed spaces when I'm older I'll know where to send the therapy bill.

To My Sweet Daughter, I adore the rendering of me although in the future could you make my thighs look a wee bit smaller? Thanks.