Husband has taken my 3 month son and 3 year old daughter with him to an airport 5 hours away, where he is putting his brother on the plane. I have to work tonight and no babysitter could cover so he needs to take them. I have been wandering around the house which is eerily quiet with its empty rooms and the wind whistling outside. I keep thinking about them being in a car accident and *poof* my family gone in an instant.
I know this is morbid thinking; Do other moms engage in this torture? Today, I am trying to turn it around. As I look at my little pink mixer, I remember all the amazingly rich times we have had together, and I decide to write them down. What are some of the memories I would embrace if something tragic happened? What is the fiber that weaves us together and what would I have wished I had not bothered about? Perhaps I can use this little exercise to propagate mindful living when my family returns safely (which I know they will.)
What I would remember as having amazing beauty and grace:
1. Our Root Beer Tree, which is a towering oak with a little hollow. It produces a can of rootbeer every week or two after being watered. I think I read about it in Pippi Longstocking when I was little but every child should have one. On occasion, to my daughter's delight, it also produces a bottle of wine and chocolates for mommies and daddies.
2. Goofy activities that cause sheer pleasure for a child, such as dying daddy's hair, with no regard to messes made or cleanup afterwards. Also, since you can see them in the photo, not worrying when we sometimes have Healthy Choice meals for dinner.
3. A smile that lights the room by the most trusting soul in the world.
4. Sneaking my kids into church for a month of Sundays when we had just moved here, without my husband and without my wedding ring, to see if they would be nice to a single mom of two kids. Delighting when my daughter announced to everyone, "I don't have a daddy today!" Then hustling them out before anyone could hand me a Planned Parenthood brochure. That's us to a tee.
5. Chuck E. Cheese's. Am I really saying this? I've been three times this month. When I really think about it, it was fun: The Skee ball, the bad pizza with the uncooked dough inside, riding the virtual jet ski and having a moldy smelling Chuck E. himself cuddle my daughter when some 5 year old booted her out of the way to ride Clifford. This did, however, make me think twice about my idea of taking a part time job for three months as the Chuck E. Cheese mascot. That costume smells HORRIBLE. I thought it would be such a fun thing to say I had done and certainly fun to blog about.
6. How romantic hubs is, even when I tease him about it. The hardened candy from our first date that he kept in the side pocket of his Ford Escort for two years. Wandering the flea market with him as he tries so diligently to find the perfect sconce or lamp that we can feature in Casapinka, and the flowers he often brings me.
7. Taking trips to the mall with the Pink Kitchen so hubs and I can sit in an overpriced store with dubious quality merchandise and watch our kid practice her homemaking skills. It's a real outing which usually ends with some gelato and me secretly steering daughter to put her sticky ice cream hands on the shiny glass at the Louis Vuitton store (those monogrammed handbags have always bugged me.)
What would not be a treasured memory and should be curtailed:
1. Constantly walking behind my daughter to remind her to pick up the trail of stuff she leaves. If I were to take ten minutes at the end of each day and pick up all the crap, it would probably take less time than the constant gentle reminding. One of my favorite blogs (extremely witty) is about a woman undergoing fertility treatment. She and her fans would give their right hands to have a trail leaver and I have two of them (when #2 can walk.) Enough said.
2. Working more.
3. Spending too much time on the computer rather than playing Candyland as a family or roasting marshmallows in the fireplace.
4. Obsessing about not spoiling our children. Recall the pink kitchen which is unbelievably priced at over $600. I found this one above on line last night during some rare down time at work. One third of the price, but no Christmas or birthday coming up soon. The nurses and respiratory therapist implored me to buy it for my daughter. "Life is short - you never know what can happen," the RT informed me. Maybe she's right?
5. Going on about how macaroni and cheese is for philistines (my kid actually said this at school the other day, che embarassment.) Just shut up and make it once in a while, orange intestines be damned. Ok, this is skeeving me out but I will really, really try.
6. Constantly worrying about food dropped on the couch or carpet. That's what stain remover is for, right?
What things would you wish you had or hadn't done if something happened to your family? Have you ever thought about it?
